


Dissolution

by Raiko



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Growing Up, Mildly Canon Divergent, Zed would be a proud sensei, teenage years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-05 14:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14621064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiko/pseuds/Raiko
Summary: A young Irelia joins the Order of Shadow instead of the growing resistance, and the fate of Ionia is turned on its head.





	1. Chapter 1

Irelia was only twelve when she first found herself in front of the monastery.

After fleeing her home in Navori, the young girl had been traveling with the resistance fighters with hopes of expelling the Noxian invaders. She had wanted to use her blade magic alongside them, but the leaders had not believed in her ability to fight while she was so young. So instead she did as she was told, helping the other women and children with domestic tasks and boosting morale with the traditional dances and songs she'd been taught.

But she knew she had potential within her, and yearned for the strength to prevent a tragedy like Navori from happening again.

When a group of survivors from the northern coast joined them, they shared stories not only of Noxus, but of a powerful new organization that had overthrown the Kinkou by slaying Master Kusho himself. Despite the warnings, Irelia saw it as an opportunity. She left the camp one night, careful for lookouts that might notice her departure, and headed eagerly towards the northwest.

The journey from the first lands was a long one, and when she finally reached the port town, it took all the gold coins she'd saved to convince a weary fisherman to bring her to the island where the monastery was. A thick mist clouded the rocky shores as they approached, and Irelia could barely see past the line of ancient trees that welcomed her.

"There is little daylight left to guide you. Be careful," the old man told her with a look of doubt. She thanked him anyway, watching the small boat disappear through the fog before making her way through the small forest.

The cracked paths and stone lanterns eventually led her to the temple gate. It was weathered and beaten save the new crest that had been placed in the center – The crest of shadows. By now Irelia was sure she was being watched as she proceeded with slight trepidation through the gate. Almost instantly, the mist gave way to a great courtyard basked in sundown. As she was about to step forward, a shadow materialized in her path, vanishing in dark tendrils to reveal a man with a certain danger about his aura.

"Are you lost, little one?" he questioned, deep voice bellowing further from the helm he wore.

"My name is Irelia," she proclaimed, hoping to appear undaunted. "I wish to join the Order of Shadow."

The statement earned an amused hum from the stranger despite his lack of visible expression.

"And what would you seek to accomplish with the shadow arts?" Zed asked her, doubtful. The girl in front of him clearly had the eyes of a survivor, but not of a fighter. Not yet.

"Is it the power to bend others to your will? Or perhaps vengeance against those who have wronged you?" he tested her, wondering where such a young spirit found the will to seek him out.

It was not a question Irelia had prepared a complete answer for, but she at least knew her answer did not lie in the choices given.

"To inspire change," she declared after some thought, feeling the blades mounted to her back resonate with her. "Without it, Ionia will fall."

It was something a younger version of himself might have said while bound by his previous master's harmonious teachings. A clink of golden armor echoed in his mind as he remembered all the losses that could have been prevented, the suffering that could have been stopped. He'd stolen the sealed shadow arts for a similar purpose, disposing of the foolish man that had wanted to keep them to himself.

Perhaps he could make use of her after all. Young minds were malleable, they could be influenced.

"Follow me," he ordered, leading her to the training grounds within the courtyard. Most of the acolytes had retired for the day, but he called a remaining one over and relayed a set of instructions out of her earshot. The acolyte nodded and disappeared into wisps, leaving them to wait.

Some minutes later, a young boy approached them. He was shorter than Irelia was, but carried a scythe on his back almost double his size.

"You called for me, master?" he asked, receiving a nod in confirmation. His eyes narrowed as he noticed their guest.

"This is Kayn," the masked figure introduced him. "He is my student, a strong and capable learner."

Irelia was not sure how to react at first. She hadn't expected to see any other young disciples on the island, but she had a gut feeling that he hadn't been introduced for her benefit.

"If you kill him, I will take you as my student instead," he continued, ushering the boy towards one of the many combat rings.

It was only then that Irelia faltered, immediately shaking her head in protest, "He is but a child."

"You are a child as well," Zed corrected her sharply. "To take two under my wing would be troublesome at best. This is the best way to decide."

"I refuse," she said staunchly with slow, retreating steps. It was more than she'd bargained for, and a fight she did not want.

"Then you will be the one to die," the master of shadows replied simply, taking a few steps back.

Kayn moved to strike, ignoring the outlined perimeter entirely when she did not move. she managed to evade, but only barely as the boy proceeded into another immediate swing. The weight of his weapon made his movements slow, but its reach was long and unpredictable. She eventually found a rhythm to her footwork using some of the maneuvers from the dances she'd learned, but that alone would not be enough to defend herself as the scythe was still able cut into the skin of her leg.

It grazed her arm next and she winced at the sting, finally summoning her blades to knock the scythe away as she reeled back to recover. The resulting momentum rendered Kayn off balance, smaller form turning with his weapon. It caught him off guard, staggering to plant his feet and catch himself as a circle of blades hovered above his head. They fell around him, missing their mark purposefully in a warning he would not heed. He ran straight through them, unfazed as the sharp blades tore into the fabric of his clothing.

The display of uncommon magic piqued Zed's interest. The girl had obviously trained some of her natural abilities to an extent, but the reluctance she harbored rendered her weak. Her physical abilities already needed some work as he noticed her lack of stamina, but he could also see her small hands trembling with uncertainty as she created a barrier to defend herself against Kayn's torrent of attacks.

It was a shame, really, to repress such potential.

The barrier dissipated into individual shards that launched themselves at Kayn. Swatting them away, he realized they were not very heavy individually, and that would be the advantage he needed. He started targeting them instead, deflecting towards their wielder instead of astray. A few of her own blades scratched her, leaving Irelia open as she stopped the rest in midair and attempted to recreate their formation.

With a wide lunge, Kayn brought the scythe up to sunder her. Fear gripped her features as she staggered to try and avoid him, but Irelia ended up tripping backwards instead. A small could of dirt rose as her bottom hit the ground. Her eyes slammed shut, hands flying in front of her face in a surrender that she knew would not save her.

Zed materialized between them to catch the scythe between his blades. He overpowered his pupil's strength easily, watching as the boy struggled to drive the curved edge through the girl's skill.

"I thought you said to kill her," Kayn frowned, clearly disappointed at the chance to further prove himself. His master gestured him aside so he could crouch before the crestfallen girl.

"You would spare me?" Irelia asked, defeated and undeserving.

"Because you know why you lost," Zed told her pointedly.

"I hesitated," she confirmed, averting her defeated gaze.

"Why?"

"I didn't want to hurt him," she answered, hands still trembling as they formed fists at her sides. She thought she had been ready, but she had not expected such vulnerability to come from her when facing such an opponent.

Kayn scowled at the display of weakness, too young to fathom what his master saw in the girl.

"How selfish you are to think you can spark change that way," The master of shadows reprimanded her, rising to cross his arms in front of his chest. "There have been people who have hurt you, who have taken from you, correct?"

"Yes," the daughter of Xan said solemnly, remembering her father, her brothers, her people.

"And they will continue to do so if you hesitate," Zed spoke, recognizing the sense of grief and loss in her expression. It was a lesson she needed to grasp quickly – converting those raw emotions into necessary conviction.

"Will you hesitate again?" he asked, towering over her small frame with finality.

Such a thing must not happen again, she reminded herself, picturing the stakes in the gardens.

"No," she declared firmly, wiping the tears that stung the corners of her eyes and picking herself up from the ground dyed red with sunset.

She would become stronger, no matter what the means.

"Good," Zed told her, grin hidden behind his mask as he beckoned her to follow them. "We start in the morning."


	2. Chapter 2

Training was not easy.

In fact, training was very, very hard.

The sun was beating down onto the training grounds with such intensity that it felt like every ounce of oxygen had been pressed from the air Irelia tried to force into her lungs. The humidity of the island was unrelenting and her clothes stuck to her body like an uncomfortable second skin. Her life now was a far cry from the one she'd known in the comforts of Navori, and not even the resistance fighters had demanded this much of her.

After training and drills in the early part of the morning with the rest of the beginning acolytes, she had been paired with Kayn for hand-to-hand sparring as he was the only one comparable to her size. He'd openly expressed his opposition to the match-up since he was an entire level higher than her, but their master's decision was firm.

And Kayn was just as relentless as the day before, even without his weapon.

Her gi was already cut up and dirtied and her body was a mess of purple bruises. Each one of his punches was one great challenge, each one of his jabs mocked her, made her feel like she didn't belong. But every time she was pummeled into the dirt, Irelia would grit her teeth and pick herself up.

Zed came upon them just as he evaded one of her punches, and sweeping her feet out from under her with a low kick. She fell forward, wincing as her skin scraped against the rough ground.

"This is a waste of time," Kayn glowered over her. "I'm supposed to be training with the others, not with some weakling."

"You struggled similarly when I first found you one year ago," Zed reminded him sternly as Irelia shakily rose to her feet with a soft groan. "And your partners then were stronger than you are presently."

Kayn merely scoffed and readied himself for another round. With his master there, he was determined to take her down more quickly.

"Focus on your defenses for now," Zed told Irelia, offering no assistance as she clutched at her abdomen in pain. "Against a more powerful opponent, it's better to find an opportunity to counter instead of letting them capitalize on your openings."

"Yes, master," she replied raggedly. Pins and needles stabbed at her chest whenever she tried to breathe.

"Take up positions," he ordered.

She took up a loose fighting stance, smearing red across her cheek from a fresh cut.

"Go."

* * *

Later that day, Irelia hurt too much to properly mediate and couldn't even remember tasting her dinner.

What she did remember was crashing into her blankets in a heap aching heap limbs. Kayn's futon wasn't far from hers, but he did not acknowledge her and chose to sleep facing the wall.

She sighed into her pillow and quietly hoped the next day will be better, the soreness and fatigue lulling her into a heavy slumber.

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Zed's newest student approached him after her third day of training. A few bandages adorned her arms and legs, but the smaller wounds were scabbing and the color of her bruises had dulled. She was carrying herself more confidently, which was a form of progress in itself.

"What is it, Irelia?"

"May I have access to the archives?" she asked him with determination. "I want to reinforce my practice with proper study."

Her words surprised him. Not many students were interested in the ancient texts. Even as an acolyte himself Zed found the art of combat more valuable than written word.

His old rival, however, had been a different story, and Irelia's ambition vaguely reminded him of the Eye of Twilight's younger self.

"Very well," the shadow master told her. "But I will only allow you the texts suited for your skill level."

Her a smile crossed her face. "Thank you!"

He led her through one of the passages under the monastery with a single torch to light their way. Cobwebs splayed across the selves, Zed retrieved a few of old scrolls and tomes and carefully dusted their covers. Fundamentals, technique, and breathing – they took up almost her entire arm's reach as she held them protectively.

"That should be sufficient for now," Zed told her. "In one week I will evaluate your progress. If it is sufficient, will advance your materials."

"Understood, master!" she confirmed happily. There was a skip in her step as she bounded up the stairs to the main hallway, eager to start. It made Zed remember simpler times; when he and his two comrades had shared the same sort of energy.

That evening, Zed performed his evening meditation ritual in the gardens. The stars were out by the time he had finished and the grounds were quiet. But traversing the stone pathways back, he spotted a single glow of a lantern underneath the pagoda.

A closer look revealed Irelia rehearsing her movements like that of a practiced dance. Her nose was in and out of one of the books he'd given her between attempts, refining her actions more and more each time.

A sense of contentment settled over him as he made his way back to his quarters.

He would make sure her potential was not limited; he would not make the same mistakes as his master.

.

.

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The new girl was annoying.

She was weak.

She was holding him back.

And to made things worse, she wasn't going down as quickly as she used to.

Her footwork had improved, her steps carried purpose. She was recovering more quickly, and she had managed to catch him off guard more than a few times in the past couple days.

It made absolutely no sense. He'd outclassed her time and time again, so how was she getting stronger despite that?

The bell tolled through the courtyard to signal their afternoon break. He resentfully trailed behind Irelia as she made her way to the well, cupping her hands together to drink.

"You."

She turned, blinking aimlessly until she realized he was addressing her. "Yes?"

"How did you get better so fast?" he asked with suspicion. "I know you weren't holding back previously, so what did you do?"

A pause, then a small smile. He had recognized her, even if condescendingly.

"I've been studying some material Master Zed lent me." Irelia explained to him. "We've got some time. Would you like me to show you?"

"Fine," he said begrudgingly, not wanting to fall behind her at some point. He followed her back to their sleeping quarters where she uncovered some old looking texts from under her futon and unrolling one of the scrolls. Elegant calligraphy outlined the dated illustrations of different training exercises. He was able to recognize one of the techniques she had used earlier, but the script beside it was unfamiliar to him.

"I...still can't read some of these," Kayn admitted, squinting as he tried to discern some of the more complicated characters. Kujo, one of his seniors, had been assigned to teach him, but an extended mission in the first lands had put their lessons on hold.

Irelia paused, thinking to herself. She'd heard from the others that Kayn was an orphaned Noxian survivor found by their Master. She knew he was their brother all the same, but she hadn't quite realized the degree of transition he had gone through after being taken in.

"I can teach you!" Irelia offered enthusiastically. It was an opportunity to get to know him a bit better, or at least make him slightly less mean to her.

"I was teaching my little brothers how to read before they..." her voice trailed off suddenly.

Kayn watched her eyes fall to the ground and the smile on her face fade. He knew that expression, what it meant. It spoke of great loss, and he'd experienced it too when his comrades were slain right in front of him.

He did not know the circumstances, but it was a form of common ground.

"Alright," he agreed after a moment. His voice was quiet but sure.

Some expression returned to her features. "Really?"

"Really."

She brightened almost immediately, locking the memories away once more.

"We'll start tonight then!" Irelia clutched the scroll tight to her chest with excitement. "Can you meet me at the pagoda after supper?"

Kayn nodded, "I'll be there."

Maybe, he thought to himself, she might not be so annoying after all.

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Syndra had been enjoying her tea under the the shade of the pavilion when she noticed the unfamiliar face among the acolytes. Interested, she leaned over the railing for a closer look.

_"No good,"_  she overheard Kayn speak to the girl who had been forced onto one of her knees.  _"If you allow your arm to bend, I can shift your balance easily."_

She dusted herself off and took stance,  _"Let me try again."_

"I wasn't aware you took another pupil," she told Zed, lounging on the bench beside her. It had been some months since she'd last visited, but she had not expected to see another child into his care.

"She shows promise," he replied, propping himself up to observe with her. Irelia had taken her partner's advice, putting enough strength in her block to keep herself steady before pivoting to send Kayn staggering forward.

"Which would you choose as your successor?" Syndra inquired with curiosity.

"Kayn, should he prove worthy," Zed told her with confidence. "Irelia harbors a strong will, but I sense she does not want to be a leader."

Irelia pinned her opponent onto his back only to be caught by a grappling technique, reversing their positions as well as advantage. Kayn appeared smug as she squirmed against his hold.

_"How am I supposed to break out of this?!"_

_"Figure it out,"_  he taunted, clamping tighter around her torso. He let out a false yawn as Irelia continued to unsuccessfully thrash against his legs with frustration.

"But they still have much to learn," Zed noted with a small sigh, but he supposed it would come with maturity and experience.

Syndra arched a brow. Kayn had finally released the girl, taunting her pouting face as he extended an arm to help her up.

"You realize this will become messy," she informed him pointedly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, unaware of any negative repercussions that might arise.

She shook her head knowingly. For a master of shadows, Zed wasn't very astute.

"You'll see soon enough."


	3. Chapter 3

"Bring your blades with you for your next assessment," Zed had instructed her when she came to return the week's set of scrolls. Over two months had passed since Irelia first been inducted into the order, and between her supplemental readings and extra practice with Kayn, she was finally finding her speed. She retrieved the small chest containing the remnants of her family's crest from her small pile of belongings.

"It's been a long time," she expressed as if she were speaking to an old friend. She summoned them around her with a wave of her arm, happy to see the familiar glints of steel. They settled behind her in the same formation they'd been in when she first reached the island, and she made her way to the training grounds.

Master Zed and Kayn were already waiting for her next to one of the rings.

"Have you prepared for your trial?" Zed asked his student.

Irelia nodded in before turning to Kayn confidently. "I will be the one to win this time."

"Kayn will not be your opponent today," Zed corrected her, which appeared to be a surprise to them both.

"I won't?" Kayn asked, seemingly bringing his own weapon for nothing.

"Not today," Zed explained as he summoned one of his shadow clones into the ring. "But you may spectate if you'd like."

"Good luck," Kayn called teasingly as he perched himself atop one of the guardian statues. He knew full well how the match would end, but he also knew that as long as Irelia gave a good enough showing, she at least had the chance to be promoted.

She had the skill – Their training together had long since proved it. Whether or not she could perform against another opponent that would be the true deciding factor.

Irelia barely heard the taunt as her face paled, suddenly taken with apprehension. She had only observed her master's fighting style a handful of times while he had been training the higher grade acoltyes. And could an entity of shadow even be pierced? She wasn't sure. To face him now seemed like quite the daunting task.

"This one only contains around fifteen percent of my true strength," Zed explained, sensing her fear. "If you cannot defeat it, you are not ready to advance."

"Understood," she replied, trying to calm herself. She had been prepared, been  _ready_ , only moments before, a change in opponents should make little difference.

"Show me what you have learned, Irelia," he told her, the clone mimicking the action of brandishing its claws.

Her heart began to race as her blades readied themselves to her sides.  _I can do this._

"Let's begin."

* * *

The rest of the day was spent in recovery.

Even weapons made of shadow were sharp enough to cut, it seemed, as Irelia had sustained lacerations of varying lengths and depths all over her body. Though mostly on the defensive, she had been able to recognize and take advantage of her opponent's openings. It had been difficult to gauge how well she'd performed however, considering her enemy was immune to being punctured, unlike herself.

Eventually her energy had been depleted and her knees gave out on her, which was when Zed ceased his assault and hoisted her onto his back so he could carry her to the infirmary.

"That was really only fifteen percent?" the girl questioned jokingly him between ragged breaths. It was expressed more in coping really, as the lack of a definitive result after her defeat had left her anxious.

"Fifteen percent indeed," Zed replied with a small chuckle. "But you do know that winning was not what was required of you."

He felt her head lift itself from his shoulder.

"I am able to receive tactile feedback from my clones. Against an opponent of lower skill, some of your strikes would prove fatal," Zed continued, mildly impressed.

She nodded into his cloak, "One of the scrolls you gave me talked about targeting the vital organs, so I aimed for them when I could."

"That's good," he told her. "You are a fine student, Irelia. Your instinct and skill have improved vastly."

"So does that mean...?" she began tentatively, trying not to hold her breath.

"You've advanced," he confirmed, smiling from behind his mask.

"Thank you, master!" Irelia chimed, grip tightening around him with new evergy.

"Do not celebrate yet, child." Zed reminded her as the screen door in front of them slid open. "You still have a ways to go."

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"I thought we could read this today," Irelia told him, placing a thick book onto the table with a thud. While their extra combat training was usually performed before dinner, the studious aspects occurred an hour or so before their bedtime so that they would be seldom disturbed.

Kayn read over the characters on the cover, sweeping away the dust she had missed. "Folktalkes?"

"I found it in the archives and thought you might like to learn them too," she said, quite proud of her logic. "Are you familiar with any?"

"Not really," he admitted. Some of the others had recounted a few to him when he had first been taken in, but they were difficult to remember among the many other tasks he'd needed to learn quickly.

"That's good, then. You can try reading them and I'll correct you," Irelia instructed, turning the pages to settle on one of the most widely known stories. The illustration showed a great tree, leaves dyed with green ink aside from the occasional addition of gold leaf with animals of all sorts surrounding its trunk.

"The God Willow," Kayn read aloud, the title at least recognizable to him. As he began to read aloud, he noticed he was stopping for clarification far less than he used to.

"The branches began to envelop him, and the captain saw–" he brought his eyes closer to the pages.

"Beauty," Irelia informed him, making note of each character he'd struggled with so he could practice them later. The words he struggled with now were ones he would not find in the training manuals.

"Beauty," he repeated, multiple times in his head so he might remember. "In their grief and began to regret his actions. He watched time flow forward, the life cycle unraveling itself before him..."

He concluded the tale, reading about how the new Green Father traveling across the different lands in hope of understanding the world's creatures.

"Has anyone actually seen him?" Kayn asked curiously, wondering what a walking, talking, ten-foot tree might look like in person.

"Not that I know of," Irelia replied with some thought, but it was true that Ionia was a place where many such myths had proven themselves a reality. "But there have been rumors of such a creature among the Vastayan tribes."

She handed him the parchment she'd been recording on after dividing it into columns. Kayn began carefully practicing the stroke order, reciting the meaning of each word as he did so.

"How about tales from your homeland?" She asked him suddenly, seeing the calligraphy pen stop and his eyes divert from his work. "Can you tell me any?"

His shoulders tensed. It had become all too apparent that Noxus was a place he'd wanted to forget, but it was an opportunity for her to learn as well. If not about Noxus itself then maybe about Kayn and the boy he was before all this.

"...Noxus Prime is made of the immortal bastion, its stone walls taller than anything you'll ever see," he told her eventually, remembering the towering walls from the slums surrounding its perimeter. "It was said to be constructed and ruled by a cruel king, made immortal with necromancy. He enslaved the most powerful warriors and mages to reign terror over the lands."

"That's horrible! What happened to him?"

"Eventually the people rose up against him and a single man was able to steal the king's skull. Without a complete skeleton, he was unable to be resurrected after being torn apart, limb from limb," Kayn finished with a flat expression.

"Was there no happy ending?" she frowned, elbows propped up onto the table.

"The people were freed, but then Noxus came to rise," he answered grimly before returning to his practice. "And that brings us here."

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She had been chosen to participate in her first raid a few weeks following her advancement.

It was supposed to be an easy mission according to her master – infiltrate the temple under the control of the Noxian army and procure any items of value.

"You are to follow me to the catacombs," Zed told her along with a group of others during their briefing. "We wait for the interception group to carve a path, when the focus on retrieval."

She remembered agreeing eagerly. After all, it had all sounded simple enough.

But when the time came, it suddenly wasn't.

With the retrieval group engaged in combat as planned, Irelia had been positioned behind Zed with two of the higher grade acolytes behind her creating a delta formation. Any remaining enemies were dealt with quickly and quietly before she could even think to be proactive about attacking. As they proceeded further into the temple, the ground became slick with blood of both friend and foe, and the foul stench lingered all the way to the treasure vaults.

As more Noxians revealed themselves, Irelia found herself ducking as a spear embedded itself in the wall where her head had been.

"Watch yourself," Ahno reminded her calmly, disappearing from the torchlight. In an instant he'd materialized behind the attacker, slitting his throat in a single calculated motion.

Her insides lurched as he kicked the body down the stairwell and out of their way, the corpse's eyes rolling into the back of its head.

Reaching the first of the vaults, it seemed as though the Noxian soldiers had stockpiled most of the artifacts already to be easily transported. Half of the team stayed to retrieve the treasures while Irelia, Zed, and the others continued on to what looked like a library of sorts.

"Take what is useful. I trust your judgment," the shadow master spoke. They were specifically looking for any material related to the dark arts, but as she scanned the drawers and shelves Irelia found her face clammy, breathing uneven, and palms slick. She had barely been able to make out the titles of some of the tomes, and eventually settled on white-knuckling a few at random and praying their content would be of use.

Another band of Noxian survivors were waiting outside to meet them in numbers that left the rest of her comrades suddenly occupied. As one of the soldiers began to charge in her direction, she allowed her blades to parry him defensively. But the shallow cuts were not enough to deter the man, as he reached his thick arms out to capture her small figure.

The action that only registered when it was too late, and although she managed to pull her arm out of the way, the man ended up grabbing a fistful of her hair instead. The sudden pull threw her off balance, and Irelia found herself flailing to escape as he gripped the strands closer to their roots to lift her feet clear off the ground.

"Do not hesitate, Irelia!" she heard her master call from afar as she winced against her enemy's grip. Her scalp felt like it would tear completely, and out of the corner of her eye she spotted the blade of a sword high in the air preparing to end her.

Feeling tears beginning to sting at the corners of her eyes, she finally expelled a pained shriek to command her blades to attack. It was a similar command to the one she had unknowingly channeled walls of her home, only this time her aim and purpose was deliberate. Two blades cut through the ligaments of each knee so the man would buckle, another two cut clean through his liver, and the last sliced the column of his neck through both the carotid arteries to ensure his defeat. The vessels immediately ruptured and the man dropped into a puddle of his own blood.

Finally freed, Irelia hastily recovered the stolen loot only to find her ninja-gi stained red and her stomach queasy.

"We're leaving," the Master of Shadows announced, rallying the remaining Order of Shadow members to retreat. Irelia was able to follow but was clearly shaken, feeling Ahno place a hand on her back to lead her forward.

"Burn it to the ground," Zed ordered once all their survivors had assembled. Within minutes, the entire temple was set ablaze in a mixture of magic and Hextech. The smell of ashes and charred flesh invaded her nose, and then all at once it was too much.

Dropping the texts entirely, Irelia lurched forward to vomit into the nearest bush.

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The night of their return, six floating lanters glowed upon the shore's edge – one for each of their fallen comrades.

Irelia watched them sail into the night, reminding herself that she could have easily been the seventh.

She had been walking among the taller adults on the travel back to the temple in hopes of avoiding Kayn, but he ended up weaving through the crowd to find her anyway.

"How was it?" he asked when he finally caught up to her. He had been nothing but encouraging before her departure, but she couldn't help but feel like she would let him down if she were to be honest with him about what happened.

So she chose to say nothing, letting the silence speak for her.

There was a pause as he tried examining her face through the shadows of the forest.

"Was it really that bad?" the younger boy questioned as they continued to traverse the stone paths leading to the monastery. "I mean, you survived, didn't you?"

Irelia felt a lump form in her throat. She had survived indeed, but why did she feel like it had been at the cost of something far beyond her?

"How are you able to take another person's life so easily?" Irelia finally spoke, her usually bright spirit diminished by the thoughts continuing to plague her.

Kayn tried searching for a way to explain, which was not easy for someone who'd needed to fight to survive for as long as he could remember.

"If you think about it, it's like an ultimatum," he said, picturing the mud and river reeds on the day he had been meant to die. "Your enemy is trying to kill you, whether or not you hesitate. So you either let them, or kill them first. It's that simple."

Irelia sighed heavily, knowing full well he was right. The man had clearly been intent on taking her life, so why had she been so reluctant to take his?

"You'll get used to it," Kayn told her, eyes forward. "You have to, if you want to survive."

His words constricted painfully around her heart, feeling it sink within her chest until she heard him mumble something quietly into the trees.

_"And I hope you do."_

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During her next raid, Irelia manages to kill an enemy without retching.

Another month and she's taken down more enemies than she can count on one hand.

And in one year, she doesn't even flinch when she hears her opponents hit the ground behind her.

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	4. Chapter 4

Kayn had advanced to the next grade before her, which wasn't at all a surprise. Even though she found motivation with trying to keep up, Irelia had never thought of it as a race between the two of them.

Over the course of a year, their reading lessons had halted completely since Kayn had been so quick to learn, and as their acolyte training became more advanced their extra practice on fondamentals had also been phased out. Irelia could now proudly keep up with the other the Grade 4 acolytes in terms of skill, and Kayn had begun the shadow affiliation training granted to Grade 3 and above.

But this also meant she saw less of him, which admittedly made her feel a bit like she was alone. He was still the only student around her age, and the only one she could confidently call her friend, even if he might contest it. It felt strange to be so often separated from him when she was used to being around him so often.

She did get to see him every night before retiring for the evening though. He still placed his futon next to hers in the shared sleeping quarters, and it had become a part of her day to look forward to. Aside from missions and maybe dinner, it was the only time they ever really got to talk nowadays.

"Want to see something cool?" Kayn asked her one evening before bed.

"Sure," Irelia obliged, settling into a seated position atop her futon. She watched him reach forward as if to grab her, only to have his hand ghosting through her wrist entirely. She could feel his touch moving through the layers of skin and bone, sending a chill up her arm as she retracted it instinctively.

"Did you learn that in your training today?" she asked him, thankfully unharmed despite the eerie feeling the technique had given her.

"Yup, it's one of the ways I can channel my magic," he told her with pride. "I can reach through walls and things too, and eventually I'll just walk right through them."

"That's amazing," she said, previously unaware that had even been possible for some of them. And though she meant it, she couldn't help but feel just a little jealous of how much he had been progressing without her.

"Isn't it though?" he replied with a smug grin. "So hurry up and advance so I can see what you're able to do, too."

She let out a small chuckle, worries quickly forgotten. She knew Kayn liked being one step ahead of her, but he wasn't the type to leave her behind.

"I will, don't worry."

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The reconnaissance group sent to the First Lands returned some months later, relaying updates concerning the invasion by Noxus.

"They'll soon be pushed to the Last Altar, and the leaders will refuse to fight within sacred grounds," their squadron leader, told Zed. "They'll be forced to surrender – It's a good opportunity."

The master of shadows took a moment to ponder the idea. The war itself did not interest him unless it were to reach their shores, but the chaos surrounding the Placidium could potentially serve as a revolutionary platform. But with the ongoing war, the task was not so simple.

"I am not looking to rule Ionia," Zed stated, considering the outcome of a turnaround with their interference.

"You don't have to, Karma would just reappear anyway," The man said with a sigh, knowing the woman would be a thorn in their sides throughout all her lifetimes. "But you can shake the foundations of what this country stands for, and what practices it should be following."

That, Zed supposed, he could agree with, beginning to formulate the plans in his head.

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Irelia knew there was something off about this mission when, other than Kayn, the group was composed of only the highest ranked acolytes. And considering the numbers, it looked like nearly all of them had been assembled.

"Kujo!" Kayn smiled broadly when he recognized his former reading mentor. The man looked personable, sending a friendly wave back at him.

"You sent for us, master?" Irelia spoke objectively. The nature of their summon had been more abrupt than usual, halting their morning training entirely.

"I did," Zed replied, turning first to Kayn. "You have mastered the skill I taught you?"

"Yes," Kayn confirmed.

"Show me," he gestured to Irelia. "But only the possession."

Apprehension rose within her chest as she recalled the chilling feeling she'd experienced the other day. Kayn seemed to sense her fear as well, sending what seemed like an apologetic look before vanishing in a cloud of shadows to overtake her body.

The initial sensation was invasive and unpleasant and everything in her wanted to force him out but did not know how. But oddly enough, the chill disappeared as quickly as it came.  _"Sorry,"_  she heard Kayn's voice murmur from within her mind as the feeling within her was replaced with something warm and familiar.

But that feeling didn't last very long either, as Kayn reemerged next to her after a short period of time. His departure left her slightly winded, but also curious as to why it felt so differently this time.

"Not bad, kid," Kujo mused from the group, seemingly impressed.

"How long are you able to stay within your host?" Zed asked.

"A few minutes if I'm not attacking," Kayn replied. His master nodded, seemingly satisfied with the skill for now.

Zed then turned to Irelia, "You previously studied at the Placidium, correct?"

"Yes," she verified. "Before the start of the invasion.

"So you should know its infrastructure quite well."

"I do," she spoke with confidence. If this was a chance to fight for her home, she would be a fool not to take it.

"Good," Zed told them both before turning to his trusted elites. "These two will accompany you. Use them when infiltrating the Last Altar."

Irelia looked to Kayn, then at the group they would be working with. They were all older, more experienced. Most of the Grade 1's had stood alongside Master Zed when he'd overthrown the Kinkou order, and had wore scars to prove it.

"We're counting on you," their new team leader spoke. His tone felt calm and not at all condescending, putting Irelia a bit more at ease.

"We'll do our best," she and Kayn spoke in tandem before they discussed strategy.

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They were still a few days out from Navori, but by nightfall their group had reached the outpost assigned to them. They settled into some abandoned farming shacks on the edge of a nearby village with a couple of them keeping watch at a time, her and Kayn exempt.

"Hey, little miss, what's the Placidium like?" Kujo asked as they prepared their sleeping arrangements. Aside from being highly skilled, he'd also proved to be quite friendly. "We've only ever seen it from the outside."

"It's beautiful. The gardens are in bloom year round," Irelia smiled, recalling her fond memories. "The floating islands are connected by bridge with the schools and temples, and the Last Altar in the very center."

"There are plenty of exhibitions and festivals too, with the biggest one in the spring in the name of the Lotus Order. It was always lively and cheerful when I lived there." She told them, remembering her studies with the performers who'd had her performing at least every other week. The snapshots in her head were so clear, she could practically smell the aroma of jasmine and incense wafting through the air. hoping her team might be able to picture it too.

"Do you think it will still look like that when we get there?" Kayn wondered. It had been an innocent question, but a pause filled the room as they stopped to ponder the thought.

"I'm not sure," Irelia said honestly, not knowing how the war might have affected the Placidium and its people. "But it's been many years since I've lived there, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of it has changed."

"We'll know for sure when we reach our destination," Chie interjected hoping to diffuse the mood. "For now, we should rest. There's a lot of ground to cover tomorrow."

They all began to retire in collective agreement. Kayn had laid his futon out next to hers in the center of the room while their seniors surrounding them up to the very edge of the walls. It was definitely snug compared to their sleeping arrangements at the monastery, but the close proximity helped her feel safe as she dreamed about her homeland.

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When they finally reached the Placidium, the Noxian armies had already taken control of the perimeter. While the buildings remained intact, the islands showed signs of struggle and destruction to the architecture and surrounding flora. A number of the connecting bridges had also been taken out as well to keep the area contained while stalling any reinforcements.

But such tactics did not deter them, especially with Irelia among them who knew these lands. They moved in the darkness of night, taking a moment to re-illustrate the plan on one of the parapets blocked from the moonlight.

"While we take control of the halls, you two take care of the captives." their leader had told her and Kayn, who were dressed in traditional garb rather than their usual attire. Unable to effectively conceal his scythe, Kayn had chosen to hide a couple of daggers within his robes instead.

"Be careful not to be spotted early, or move too quickly."

Orders confirmed, they went ahead first, eventually reaching the large courtyard surrounding the Last Altar itself. Irelia took an unintentional passageway she knew of within the hollows of the walls while Kayn simply passed right through them. A full troop of Noxian soldiers stood guard of the captives who had long since surrendered to their demands.

"I hope it doesn't take them long," Kayn muttered once they'd regrouped, seemingly uncomfortable among so many strangers. Irelia could only silently agree as she observed their surroundings. The elders, monks, magical instructors, and the remaining resistance fighters had all been gathered and disarmed, but they all seemed unmotivated as a whole. Surrender in protest of violence would have been one thing, but gone was the sense of Ionian pride she'd been used to when still living within these same walls, making her wonder just how oppressive Noxus had been during her time away. Would she have appeared the same if she'd never left the resistance?

She quickly dismissed the thought, reminding herself that they were here to make a difference, here so that such tragedies would not be repeated.

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Time passed all too slowly as they waited for any signs of progress from their end, and after some hours of idling Irelia found herself growing quite sleepy. She had been rubbing at her eyes before she suddenly felt the heavy thud of Kayn's head knock into her shoulder. Eyes narrowing, she considered waking him with a startle but eventually decided against it, instead shifting her position so she could sit more comfortably.

Another hour and finally she heard the rustle of moving armor at the gates. A couple of soldiers had pulled the overseeing general aside to speak. She shook Kayn to wake him, eyeing the nervous mannerisms they were displaying during the exchange. "Do you think it's them?" she whispered.

"Maybe," Kayn replied under his breath with a yawn, but they couldn't be too sure yet. They waited until the conversation was over, watching the irate general dispatch half his men to deal with whatever problem he needed to address.

"Definitely them," Irelia spoke, unable to think of any other reason for such a commotion. Around them, the people began to stir in question of what was happening outside.

"What's going on?" they heard a man ask one of the iron-clad soldiers. "Is this place in danger?"

The word served as a trigger, causing the dissenting voices around them to grow louder.

_"Is the Last Altar going to fall?"_

_"What of the children and the elderly?"_

_"Are you going to leave us here to die?"_

The air grew tense as both sides became increasingly irritated. The Noxians continued to refuse any answers as more and more of their guards were dispatched outside of the courtyard.

"We should move soon," Kayn told her, observing the enemy numbers to be much more manageable now.

Irelia nodded. If their movements were to spur action like they'd predicted, they would be able to free the captives easily. Angling her back away from view, she allowed Kayn to invade her form to conceal himself, the warmth of his trespass flowing through her again. Once they were both ready, she began to squeeze her way through the crowd in the direction of the enemy forces.

At the forefront, she audaciously made her way to the enemy general himself wearing the same look of concern as the people around her.

"Back to the gardens, child," The man warned her before she'd even spoken. His expression remained cold and cruel, but the aura around him was different, stronger.

 _"I want this one,"_  Kayn told her mentally, sensing it too. He had always been eager to face a strong opponent, especially that of the Noxian variety. She felt the warmth within her boil into an angry heat.

 _"Fine,"_  she conceded, gauging the rest of their surroundings. From this distance, she could take out the four closest soldiers to start, but she would have to wait for Kayn before they could fight their way to the exit.

Irelia had opened her mouth to say something, but found herself completely interrupted as Kayn leapt from her form, revealing the daggers from within his sleeves to strike. The display of magic clearly startled the general, but he had still managed to avoid him.

"Not yet!" Irelia let out in exasperation, quickly readying her weapons as well as the enemy soldiers approached them. Aiming straight for their joints within the gaps in their armor, the blades flew straight through before curving behind their targets, piercing them a second time as they returned to her.

The soldiers crumpled to the ground, unable to move with the tendons and ligaments she had severed, giving her a momentary lapse to turn back to Kayn. "Are you crazy?!"

But Kayn hadn't heard her, completely engaged with his own fight. The frenzied look on his face indicated there would be no stopping him now. Kayn was quick and limber, but the Noxian general was able to keep pace. His movements were calculated and precise, showing experience as he used his short-range magic to keep the boy at bay.

As expected, the captives began to rise, making for the gates in the midst of the confusion. The Noxians were forced to split their remaining forces, half attempting to barricade and suppress the uprising. The other half attempted to assist their general, but Irelia remained steadfast and unrelenting, determined to cover the ground Kayn could not reach by taking her enemies down before they got close.

An array or agonizing cries caught her attention, and in the corner of her field of vision she saw a row of Noxian soldiers fall to the ground. Some were bleeding from physical wounds and lacerations while the others became contorted and torn, ripped from the inside out as a result of shadow magic. Their allies emerged after slaying their prey, the lower halves of their faces concealed to hide their affiliation.

"This way," she heard Chie's voice guide the people as the rest of their group worked on disposing the remaining front line. "Reinforcements are waiting."

Irelia was relieved; the resistance had responded to the anonymous tip she'd suggested to send. Nearly all their objectives had been met now, and their job would be over soon.

"Kid!" Kujo's voice called from somewhere beyond them. Knowing the warning hadn't for her, she whirled around just in time to see Kayn misjudge his own range and become rooted to the ground, sharp talons digging into his legs. The general grabbed Kayn by the throat with a single hand, lifting him off the ground with ease as he tightened his grip.

"You will regret this," Swain hissed, other hand clamping onto the boy's scull with dark energy. Kayn's eyes clamped shut as he attempted to scream, but found himself unable as he gasped for air.

With no time to think, Irelia had the rest of her weapons shoot into the ground to debilitate the rest of her enemies. She plucked the farthest one manually from the ground, feeling the sting of its edge press into her palm as she jumped. Looking to the man's elbow, she realized she'd need to at least break the bones if she were to try and set Kayn free.

Irelia switched to a two-handed grip for more power, raising the blade over her head and taking aim.

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"You compromised your objective with such rash actions," Zed told them both when they'd returned for their debriefing. His arms folded over his chest as their mission leader stood beside him.

Bandaged and bruised, Irelia and Kayn could only shrink under their stern gazes. The hearth continued to crackle despite the tense atmosphere.

"It was my fault, I got too heated because I recognized him," Kayn admitted, averting his gaze to the ground. "I couldn't think of anything else but ending his life."

This had been news to Irelia, but she couldn't ask him to expand on it now. She remained silent, waiting for their punishment.

"You allowed your judgment to become clouded, which put your allies in danger as well," Zed scolded him, looking briefly to Irelia.

"I'm sorry," Kayn said, falling to his knees in a low, apologetic bow before their master.

"I'm sorry, too," she told them, stooping into a bow of her own. "I should have been able to stop him before things got out of hand."

"Rise," Zed instructed after a moment, watching as they scrambled to their feet. "There will be one week of confinement for each of you."

Irelia felt herself pale, but she supposed it could have been worse, having expected a lashing instead.

"They didn't do half bad though, all things considered," their leader mentioned, taking the Noxian ring from the table between his fingers. Upon closer inspection, it still sported small drops of blood around its band and crest.

"I'm aware," Zed noted, albeit stoically. "See to it that something like this does not happen again."

"Yes, master," they both spoke before their mission leader lead them to their respective chambers.

"Don't worry about it too much, a week usually means he's impressed," he told them with a half smile. "And you still get full meals."

The thought was hard for Irelia to believe, especially when they reached her chambers. The room was devoid of everything besides a tatami mat and a corridor leading to the washroom.

She sighed. It was going to be a long week.

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Some months later, Irelia advanced to Grade 3 near the end of the year. To begin her shadow affinity, Zed led her through a passageway underneath one of the shrines into the very chamber where he'd slain his master.

"Inside, you will find a box." he instructed their footsteps echoed over cold stone. "You are to open it and meditate until the shadows personify themselves within you."

The idea seemed easier said than done, as Irelia nodded in the torchlight.

"Are you nervous?" he questioned, sensing some fear within her.

"A bit," she admitted, realizing the light from the upper levels was no longer visible. "What if something happens? No one will be able to find me."

"Do not mistake the shadows for evil, child," Zed told her as the chamber came into view. "They are another source of power, same as the flame you hold now."

There was a loud creak as it opened and Zed ushered her in first. True to his word, a single box rested on a pedestal in the center of the room.

"How long must I meditate?" Irelia asked as she placed the torch in its bracket.

"You will know when you are ready," is all her master left her with before the door shut with a final thud.

Now alone, Irelia slowly approached the box to run her fingers over its old woodwork. The outside showed clear signs of age with chipped woodwork in a style she'd never seen. Without lifting it, she carefully unfastened the metal latch on the front and flipped open the lid.

The small flame near the doorway blew out with a whisper.

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Kayn was, admittedly, a little worried.

He probably didn't need to be, Irelia was probably  _fine_ , but it had been almost a full day since she'd begun her affinity meditation when his had only taken a few hours. With that in mind, after his day's training he found himself idling around the grounds of the shrine just in case she happened to re-emerge.

It was dusk when he finally spotted her, ascending the steps from the underground and rounding the pathway. Though seemingly unchanged, she did seem fatigued. Her steps were slow as she clutched the railings, and it took Irelia a moment to notice him.

"Kayn?" she asked, unsure if he was really there.

"Hey," he greeted simply, taking a few steps towards her. "You hungry?"

Irelia blinked. "Starving."

Kayn tossed her a wrapped rice ball he'd saved from dinner before grabbing another one for himself.

Though too tired to speak, she managed a smile at him as they made their way back to the monastery.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. I'd actually had 90% of it written by Monday which is when I usually update, but I was struggling with my narrative descriptions and wasn't happy with the stand at the Placidium. I kept rewriting that part because I felt it was a necessary part of Irelia's canon backstory, but I'm still not sure if I'm completely satisfied with how this chapter turned out. I'm admittedly not the best with action-y scenes or how I wanted that entire scene to play out, which is why I prefer the snapshot kind of style I've been using thus far. Also there wasn't much info on what weapons Swain used before his demonic involvement, so I decided to use his old abilities.
> 
> As always, let me know your thoughts if you feel so inclined, and what you might like to see in the future! I'm really excited to write the parts going forward since I can finally explore Kayn and Irelia's relationship development and eventually add Rhaast into the picture. Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Straw flew from the chest cavity of the target dummy, having been burst open from the inside. The blades that had impaled it flew back to their owner in a controlled, elegant manner.

"Again," Zed ordered.

His student nodded. The next set embedded deep within the next dummy's midline, steel shining with an otherwordly hue. Transferring the energy imbued to her target, there was a resounding crunch as the inner frame snapped into pieces, lining intact save for the puncture holes.

"Adequate." The Master of Shadows observed, taking mental note of her abilities thus far.

"Only adequate?" Irelia frowned. After months of honing her shadow affinity, she'd hoped her skill to be regarded as more than just adequate. She downed the rest for good measure, lodging her blades in its heart before releasing their stored power. It splintered entirely, scattering scorched pieces into the wind.

"Have you performed these arts on a living being?" Zed asked her evenly, though they both already knew the answer.

Irelia knit her brows together. He was being unfair. "No."

"Then for now, it is adequate," her master repeated, unmoving from his place on the court. "We'll leave it at that for today."

"How can I when you won't give me the chance to?" Irelia muttered, disintegrating the remains of the targets not only to express her discontent, but also to make her work easier. She retrieved a broom and began sweeping over the clay. Her missions had all but stopped for this while others in her grade were readily dispatched. Was she that slow in terms of her progression?

It was Zed's turn to frown now from behind his mask. In truth, her combined abilities were difficult for him to hone and judge, and it had taken some time for her to manage both in tandem. He could not deny the strength it gave her, but he questioned if in this stage of her development, she had reached full potential.

To send her out without confidence in this, to put her  _safety_  at risk, would bring him failure as her teacher.

"Master," she addressed him with steeled eyes. The broom in her hand stopped – she demanded an answer.

He sighed. If there were anything he didn't have to question, it was her will.

He knew Irelia was capable, but he wasn't quite sure if she was  _ready_.

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The Dark Soverign joined him that night, breathing soft against his collarbone as he smoothed over the silvery tendrils of her hair. Times like this, he was able to spill his soul to the woman who had undone him.

He recounted to her the recent events surrounding the order – How many acolytes had returned from their missions, and how many hadn't. The influx of new students they'd received since their intervention at Navori, and the mild disagreement between him and Irelia earlier in the week.

"You said yourself that her strength has grown. If she is able to fend for herself, let her," Syndra told him. Her deft fingers traced over puckered scars, "What is there about her that you aren't confident about?"

"I do not know," he admitted with a sigh. "The feeling is merely instinctual."

She let out a pensive hum and let the silence hang, but the way she pursed her lips indicated she had something to say.

"What is it?" he asked, having seen this look of her's many times before.

"You won't like it," she remarked. Another statement he had grown accustomed to.

"Tell me."

"You favor her," she said, a deliberate undertone to her voice. "Similar to how you favor the boy, but not quite."

He thought back to trying to win his previous master's favor, but always falling short. Knowing the feeling himself, it had never been his intention to pick favorites among his students.

But regarding those two, she wasn't exactly wrong.

"It became unavoidable in the face of such talent." he said after some reflection.

"No, you're not understanding," she interjected, padding a finger to his chest. "You've watched them both grow, and yet you believe in one more than you do the other. Have you ever considered why?"

Though he tried to comprehend her words, but an answer did not come.

"You believe her to be more fragile, more delicate," Syndra told him. "While you let Kayn do as he pleases, you keep her here while knowing she trails only slightly behind him in terms skill."

"It's the way a father would treat their son versus a daughter," she continued, a smug grin crossing her features. "I never imagined you as such a man."

Zed furrowed his brows with distaste. To view her in such a role just because he'd taken her in so young – The idea was plainly ridiculous.

...And yet the instinct he had been harboring refused to deny it.

He felt sharpened fingernails raking into the skin of his side.

"You should know better than to underestimate a woman," Syndra whispered into his ear, shifting closer to him. "Allow her the opportunity."

Indeed, he should know better. After all, the woman next to him could sink their entire island if she so pleased.

"I will consider it."

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Irelia had fallen into a steady rhythm of tasks outside of her training. She'd revisited the archives to review fundamentals, focused on the quality of her meditation, and even assisted in the lessons of their new members. It kept her busy, which was a good thing when he hadn't left the island in some months.

She also managed to start 5 fights with Kayn in three days, and not in their usual combative jest either. It was a lot, even for them.

It wasn't like she'd meant to, but the previous skills evaluation with her master had left her in quite the foul mood, despite her best efforts to keep herself occupied. And with Kayn constantly bragging about his advancements, he'd become an easy recipient of the growing resentment, expressing itself in petty insults and cruel taunts whenever he'd unassumingly try to chat with her.

At her worst, she'd thrown her bowl of rice at him in the dining hall. It wasn't her proudest moment, but he'd picked the wrong time to ask how her training had been going, and, even worse, continued to prod after she clearly didn't want to talk about it.

_"What's your problem?!"_  he yelled as she stormed off, fists clenching at his sides. It had taken all his self control not to swing, and he'd been avoiding her ever since.

It had admittedly dampened her spirits a bit, but she really couldn't blame him. If she were in his shoes, she would have avoided herself too.

But another few days of training and, to her surprise, Irelia was finally assigned a mission. Not only was she eager at the chance to prove herself, but it also helped take her mind off the Kayn scenario for the time being. Partnered with a Grade 1 senior it had gone smoothly enough, and they'd eliminated their targets with ease.

Master Zed seemed to be pleased with their results, and she was summoned for another mission briefing the following week.

Only this time, he'd partnered her with Kayn, which should have been fine under normal circumstances. At the moment, however, he was quite possibly the worst person she could have been paired with considering the ongoing stalemate between them. Both of them were far too proud to even  _consider_  speaking to the other, let alone cooperate.

Though Kayn seemed collected enough, there was more distance than usual between them as they stood receiving their instructions. The tense atmosphere between them had made it difficult for Irelia to concentrate, mentally having to remind herself not to peer at him from the corner of her eye.

The mission itself was fairly simple: eliminate the Noxian sympathizers and leave no survivors.

Tasked to leave in the morning, Kayn bowed to take his leave first. He looked straight past her, the door closing in his wake deafening to her ears and denying her of sleep.

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The journey had continued in a similarly silent fashion, but at least as a unit, they still functioned well enough. Which was a good thing considering their enemies were not men, but Vastaya who had clear control of their magical abilities and had received weapons and supplies from Noxus. Instead of randomly attacking her and Kayn, they were actually going after them. After her, specifically, realizing she needed to remain stationary to channel her attacks.

Irelia dispatched another opponent before leaning against a tree, too weary to stand straight while trying to observe the area. That was when the last one managed to sneak up on her, ironically, straight from the shadows. There was a flash of steel as she summoned a blade, its pointed edge cut through flesh until it met bone in a jarring impact. But instead of jerking violently, the assailant went still, blood running seemingly cold through his veins.

She stopped, momentarily confused, and looked into a set of wide, empty eyes. The blade dropped as the body crumpled. Face paling, Irelia shoved it away as far as her arms would allow.

Kayn made a disapproving noise, but didn't say anything.

Without turning to look at him, Irelia gazed at her last attacker. He was on his back, arm stretched out and fingers cramped against a Hextech contraption which should have been easily ignited.

"What did you do?" Her voice sounded hollow in her own ears.

"I could have let him kill you," Kayn replied with a scoff.

She surveyed the clearing again. Twelve of their enemies were lying in puddles of their own blood. Four more had been cleaved from the inside out in Kayn's doing. Three she'd dispatched with shadow magic were in broken heaps beneath the trees, blue faces and swollen tongues testament to their death.

"Let's go, then," she managed after catching her breath. Putting aside her inner turmoil, she glanced at the scene one last time to make sure they hadn't missed anything before pushing off from the tree.

Kayn didn't move.

"Shit."

She was next to him in seconds, kneeling on softened earth. The stench of blood assaulting his nostrils was his, and it was what was turning the forest ground into mud. His hand was clutched to his side, red seeping through his fingers.

"No vital organs, as far as I can tell," he pressed through his lips. Up close, she could see his chest heaving with the force of suppressed pain. She rummaged through her pack, moving his hand so she could pour the contents of the potion into his wound.

"It's not closing," she observed with a panic, staining her own fingers as she attempted to press it closed.

"Stitch it," he ordered through clenched teeth.

Her hands shook with guilt. "Kayn-"

_"Stop talking."_

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Kayn awoke the next morning to a sore feeling in his side and light spilling from the window. Rolling carefully onto his back, he began to recognize the walls of the outpost. The events of the previous night replayed in his head as he examined the rushed set of stitches that ran along the length of his wound, vaguely remembering passing out as soon as he'd reached his futon.

He rose to don his shoes, realizing Irelia to be absent and/or continuing to avoid him. There was also a curious smell coming from outside the small hut that drew him out, and as soon as he opened the door he was assaulted by a cloud of fragrant smoke.

Past the tendrils, he spotted her tending over a makeshift grill. A wild boar carcass lay next to her, and by the looks of it she'd done a decently good job butchering it. Her eyes widened when she spotted him, a moment passing as each questioned who might finally break the silence.

"...Good morning," Irelia began hesitantly.

"Morning," he replied, voice a bit hoarse. He made his way over, planting himself onto the log adjacent to hers and reaching for a flask. There was a long pause as he drank, still watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Ah!" she exclaimed, removing a piece that had burnt black while she'd been distracted.

"Looks good," Kayn remarked, only partially teasing.

"The rest of them are," she stated with a huff, face turning red. Wordlessly, she offered him a platter of non-burnt boar and one of the buns they'd packed for the journey.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, unable to meet his gaze behind the wisps of smoke.

"What was that?" Kayn asked, mildly amused. The tinder between them continued to crackle.

"I'm sorry," she said, louder this time.

A smirk crossed his features, "Didn't quite catch that."

"I said I'm sorry, okay?!" she practically shouted, causing birds to fly from the trees.

His smirk grew into a full-fledged grin. Having had his fun, he picked up a piece of meat from the grill, corners lightly singed, just the way she liked it.

"For the record, I'm sorry too," he said, placing it onto her plate.

Irelia smiled – They were alright.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, this was pretty difficult to crank out since it's mostly my version of a filler since I didn't want too much of a gap before they're POOF 16/17. I had to omit dialogue from their domestic conflict altogether since it was ending up pretty redundant and not making sense, so I definitely wasn't too happy with that either but I wanted to keep my updates mostly consistent and didn't want to prolong uploading just to bash my head against the wall some more trying to figure it out.
> 
> BUT at the very least I have the next chapter completely outlined which will make it easier for me, and it'll be mostly from Kayn's perspective since I know it's been mostly Irelia thus far. And maybe some flirting and tension, which is my actual comfort zone WOOO! Thanks for all the kind words and kudos you guys have left, it's really helped me push through these past couple of weeks.


	6. Chapter 6

They had stopped in town on the way back from their mission when Irelia first spotted them. A caravan of Noxian transports had been leaving the city just as they'd arrived, the crest on the banners freezing the blood within her veins. If Kayn had been paying closer attention, he might have, no,  _should have_  noticed the change in her disposition early enough to stop her, but he'd been too focused on a quick return to pay her any mind.

As they split the market square to resupply, Kayn noticed Irelia across the way speaking to a group of the townsfolk. It wasn't an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence by any means, but Kayn would have never guessed her motives to be beyond more than simple pleasantries, much less about her family's murderer.

After he'd finished his share of errands, it took Irelia a good while before finally meet him at the town gates, breathing suggesting that she'd hurried there.

"We should take the coastline north," she suggested nonchalantly, slinging her pack over her shoulder so they could start moving.

"Fine by me," Kayn agreed, figuring the villagers had deemed it as the fastest route back to the island. They took the path west until the beach was in sight, but kept to the edge of the forest to avoid being seen in the open. Miles later into their trek, the sound of fighting came into earshot from the coast, and it wasn't long until the resistance fighters came into view, fully engaged in combat with the Noxian forces. They climbed to the higher branches of the trees to conceal themselves as they studied the ongoing battle.

"We should hurry back to report this," Kayn whispered as another group of Ionian transports passed under them towards the bay. He'd meant to turn to leave the scene when he noticed Irelia hadn't moved.

"Irelia?" he asked, finding her vision focused on the fighting along the coast.

"I'm sorry, Kayn," Irelia said suddenly, voice low with remorse as she refused to look in his direction.

"What do you mean?" He asked in alarm, but before he even knew what was was happening, she had already summoned her blades around her.

"There's something I need to do," is all she told him before jumping down from the trees and sprinting towards the beach.

"Wait!" he tried calling out, but she didn't look back. Without hesitation, Kayn dropped to the sand below and attempted to follow using the path she'd begun to carve through the enemy lines. He would be damned if she didn't have a good explanation for everything when this was all over. It wasn't like her to be this rash, and it was dangerous for her to go without him.

She could have at least let him cover her back, like she was always doing for him. What would bother her to such an extent to not even allow that?

Kayn chose to perform no more attacks than absolutely necessary, disposing of the enemies in his path with single, debilitating strikes of his scythe. But despite his best efforts, the Noxian reinforcements only seemed to multiply in numbers as they swarmed around him and it wasn't long until he lost sight of Irelia altogether.

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It wasn't until he reached the remains of a Noxian command post that he finally found her.

The entire guard had been taken care of, mostly by her own hand considering the contorted torsos and puncture wounds. Picking his way over the remains, Kayn saw that she was stooped over something. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a corpse – Uniform of a higher rank and much more violently handled than the rest with a number of her blades still embedded in the man's chest and neck. Irelia remained fixed as he approached, still kneeling in a pool of her victim's blood that the waves could not fully wash away. As he grew closer, he realized her hands were shaking.

_"-was for them,"_  he heard her faintly mumble over the lifeless body. She was staring into her bloodied palms as if looking for an answer, but was met with nothing.  _"Why–"_

"Irelia," he called out to her, but she remained still, only realizing he was there at a second, louder chant of her name.

"Kayn," she answered blankly, glassy eyes seeming to stare right through him as drops of red decorated her face.

Frustrations forgotten for the moment, there were at least a hundred things Kayn could have asked her then.  _What happened? Why did you run off? Are you hurt? Is everything alright?_

"What," he began, struggling to choose a single object to address. "Did you do?"

There was a pause, almost as if she wasn't sure of what had transpired herself.

"I killed him," she finally spoke, voice cracking as she began to trail off. "Just like did to my family, I–"

Beyond the command post, the sound of war horns echoed from the north. Another fleet of Noxian ships had come into view amidst the towering waves, beginning to send hextech missiles to the nearby sands. But even as the ground seemed to erupt and shake beneath their feet, Irelia was still frozen in place.

Kayn shook his head with apprehension. Their conversation had to would have to continue later. Right now, he needed to get them both out of there.

"We need to leave, now." Kayn said briskly just as one of the missiles clipped the command post wall, resounding explosion ringing sharply through their ears. The wooden planks were immediately set ablaze, splintering and crackling as the flames crept towards them.

"Irelia!" he pressed, forcefully grabbing her by the wrist as to not waste any more time. Her skin was cold to the touch as he tugged her upright. "Hurry up and let's go."

He watched her blink a couple of times, his urgency like a splash of cold water onto her face as she took in their surroundings. With a deep breath, she managed a nod before they both bolted for the trees.

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As soon as they'd departed from the shoreline their journey had been silent. Irelia had chosen point on her own, walking with quick strides as she kept her back to him. The distance she imposed was certainly large enough for Kayn to notice, and judging by the uncharacteristic square of her shoulders, there had to be a number of thoughts on her mind – He just wished she would have actually stopped and tried to express them.

A few times during their travel, his mouth opened to say something, only to stop short and close. It was frustrating to say the least, seeing her like this without being given an explanation as to why. From the pieces he was able to fit together, he at least knew she'd been seeking revenge. It was the same mistake he'd almost made at the Placidium that she'd saved him from, so why hadn't she thought to tell him?

They reached their outpost just as night fell, the moon and stars beginning to flicker above the thicket of the forest. Once inside, Kayn dropped his pack to the floor with an irritated thud as Irelia automatically began preparing their meals to occupy herself. Neither of them seemed to have much of an appetite that night, Irelia merely shifting around the items on her plate as Kayn continued to quietly simmer about the lack of communication between them given the recent circumstances.

He sat waiting in the corner next to their bedrolls as she tidied the small room, performing every conceivable chore she could before finally forced in his direction. Her footsteps were almost soundless across the straw mat covering the floor, and Kayn decided to finally speak just as she'd unrolled her futon to retire.

"Oi," he expressed, voice cutting sharply through the prolonged silence. She finally turned to face him, expression as bleak as it had been in the bay.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked, but while they both knew the answer, it certainly didn't stop her from trying to deny it.

She took a breath in preparation to save face, "I'm fine." It was a blatant lie, only causing Kayn's frown to deepen further as the irritation he'd gathered throughout the day finally caught up to him.

"You don't have to lie to me," he said in a tone sharper than intended, unwilling to let her off without a proper explanation now that they were free to discuss it. He watched her expression become crestfallen, eyes half-lidded with fatigue.

"What do you want me to say, Kayn?" she voiced wearily, the day's exhaustion plain on her face as she sank to the ground, back against the adjacent wall.

_Everything,_  he wanted to tell her, but if he told her that, he was sure she wouldn't comply.

"Why you ran off, for starters," he began firmly, expectantly folding his arms over his chest. "And why you chose not to tell me in the first place."

It might have been his own way of showing concern, but it still appeared to strike a nerve. "You already know what happened, and there was no reason for you to be involved," she practically snapped, but was still the most emotion he'd seen out of her all day.

"No reason?" Kayn echoed in disbelief. Did she truly believe that after all these years, he didn't at least care about her safety and well being? Aside from putting them both in danger, he would have considered himself a failure if he allowed something to happen to her on his watch.

"I'm your  _partner_ ," he told her, never having taken the term so lightly. "If you'd explained things earlier, I could have at least gone with you to–"

"It wouldn't have made a difference," she cut him off abrasively. A long sigh escaped her lips as she brought her knees to her chest, gaze diverting to the ground.

"Maybe, maybe not," he replied staunchly. "But it's my job to make sure you're alright, even with things like this."

Her eyes flicked back to him tentatively as if something had finally clicked, his words sinking into her like a sharp knife.

"And I can't do that if you won't be honest with me," Kayn added, the quiet concern he'd been harboring finally voicing itself properly. He raked his fingers through his hair, expelling a tired sigh of his own.

"At least tell me if there's something I can do."

A beat passed as her eyes grew glassy, finally realizing the toll she'd placed upon him with her selfishness.

"...I should have known that nothing would change," she finally said, shakiness taking a hold of her voice as she spoke. Her hands fisted at the frayed ends of straw, "At the end of the day, it was just another life on my hands with nothing to show for it."

"It wasn't like I expected my family to magically come back but I–" a small whimper escaped her as what was left of her composure began to crumble. She'd tried to blink them away, but a few stray tears still managed to fall down her cheeks. "I didn't expect to feel like this."

As she shied behind the shadow of her knees, a pang of hurt suddenly hit him in the chest. For as long as he'd known her, Kayn had never seen her this broken, and it pained him, too, seeing her suffer in such a way. Although he knew that truthfully, there was nothing he could do to rid her of her grief, he still felt obligated to do  _something_  to help. He wouldn't be fulfilling his responsibility of her partner – no –  _friend,_  otherwise.

After a moment, Kayn rose from his spot. His feet padded softly over the floor before wordlessly descending to sit beside her.

The simple gesture was what finally did her in. Irelia immediately buried her face into the front of his shoulder. Her sobs only grew louder as she clung to his arm, grip on his shirt tight and desperate as he allowed her to cry.

"Thank you," she managed after a while through her hiccuped weeping. "For worrying about me."

Kayn merely nodded against the top of her head, instinctively draping an arm around her. He idly smoothed at her hair as she leaned further into his hold.  _I'm here for you._

They stayed that way until her sobbing had quieted, the emotional fatigue having lulled her to sleep. Careful not to jostle her too much, Kayn deposited her onto her futon before preparing his own next to hers. He lay facing the window to face the stars, only beginning to question what exactly Irelia meant to him before his eyes closed shut.

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Navori was relatively out of the way considering their setback from the previous day, but Kayn had no qualms when Irelia requested to visit her old home. She'd tasked him with holding the incense while she carried the flowers through the city, pointing out a few of the significant places from her childhood on the way to her old home. He'd been sent to Navori previously, but while his experiences were purely objective, it was interesting to hear her what she remembered about the city as a young child before she'd met him.

When they finally reached the Xan manor, the old gates appeared disregarded and weathered. Aside from the remnants of the Noxian occupation, there were no sighs of habitation within the recent years. Irelia seemed to pause before pushing the gates open so they could enter, not having been back to this place since the day she'd fled.

They circled around the grounds until they reached what was left of the gardens, now overgrown and unkempt. Just like she'd described on their way there, a number of unmarked stakes jutted from the ground in a small pile. With a frown, she used her blades to trim the tall grasses around them, blowing the residual dust into the orchard beyond.

"You can set those down now," she instructed, placing the flowers before the old grave markers.

Kayn set the incense burners on each side of the vase, distancing himself as Irelia struck a match to light them. He found a spot against a stone pillar, his back to her for privacy as she began offering her prayers. As he studied the crumbling walls, he wondered what wishes she might be sending to the afterlife, and what it might be like in her shoes if he had his own family to mourn.

It was a long while before he heard her footsteps approaching. Not long after, she'd rounded the pillar to stand in front of him, the scent of incense softly perfuming her hair.

"Finished?" Kayn asked, wanting to make sure she'd had adequate time.

"Yes," she said, seemingly refreshed as she breathed the air of her homeland. "Thanks for waiting."

"What did you tell them?" he asked with interest, even he wouldn't completely bet on her giving an honest answer.

"How things have been, and what I'm doing now," she replied thoughtfully before a grin crossed her features. "And how much of a handful it is keeping you out of trouble."

"Funny," Kayn smirked as he pushed off from the pillar behind him. "I'd think it was the other way around."

He heard her chuckle as he dusted off his palms, watching her attention fall to the ruins of the manor.

"Did you want to go inside?" he questioned as her gaze remained fixed on the door. She seemed to take a moment to ponder his question before eventually shaking her head.

"I don't think I'm quite brave enough for that," Irelia admitted, tone bittersweet as she looked away from her old home. "And besides, there's nothing left for me here anymore."

"There's always next time," he told her, leaving the option open to her. Perhaps she didn't believe in herself now, but if she'd at least been able to acknowledge her fears, he had no doubts that she would eventually overcome them and return.

Irelia eyed him curiously, but only gave a hum of acknowledgment in reply before turning to leave.

"Shall we go?" she asked him, finally having obtained the closure she'd needed after all these years.

"So long as you've said all your goodbyes," Kayn told her for good measure.

The smile she gave him was genuine and full as she breezed past him.

"Don't worry, I have," Irelia said, ready to go home.

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Nakuri, of all people, had challenged Irelia to a "friendly" spar after hearing of her promotion to Grade 2 alongside him and Kayn.

The clash of steel rang through the courtyard as some of their fellow acolytes spectated the bout. Irelia had been mostly pushed to the defensive, struggling to intercept the swipes from Nakuri's katana. But instead of simply aiming to defeat her, Nakuri had been insistent on slicing away her ninja-gi like it were some sort of game, leaving her with various cuts on her arms and legs past the fabric. Reacting just slightly faster than her, Nakuri managed to slice through the last bit keeping Irelia's pant leg attached, exposing a long stretch of skin and a fresh wound. Seemingly annoyed, she dug her blades into the ground, immobilizing him for a brief moment so she could kick the useless cloth away.

"Now that's just dirty," Kujo frowned from the shade of the pagoda.

"If master Zed was here he wouldn't have even challenged her," Kayn noted from beside him. Nakuri had never been of the friendly sort, and he had a notorious reputation of feuding with others during missions. But toying with Irelia like this was on a whole new level of disrespectful, especially considering she wasn't keen on harming her sparring opponents to begin with.

Kujo only shook his head in disapproval as the fight continued. Again, she had jumped back a second too late. The katana sliced up in the direction of her neckline to expose her chest bindings, stopping right under her chin as Nakuri teleported himself away before her projectiles could hit him. Irelia was red in the face at this point, but her attacks remained conservative, not wanting to become too flustered and act recklessly.

"This isn't fair," Kayn muttered as Nakuri continued to blink to different locations around the ring as if to tease her. Even he wasn't the one in the ring, it was still infuriating for him to watch Irelia being exploited in such a way.

"I wouldn't say that." Kujo expressed after some thought. "If she can keep her focus, I think she has decent odds, especially if Nakuri gets impatient."

Kayn hoped he was right, having wanted her to win from the start.

Attacks rendered futile, Irelia instead resorted to planting a number of her blades around the court in preparation to use her own magic. But Nakuri, realizing this, charged towards her again to bring their fight back to close combat. His feet skidded across the clay to strike, but this time Irelia managed to evade him after seeing him coming from across the court. She pivoted and took a series of steps backwards, footwork light and calculating as she attempted manipulate his direction to gauge the reach of his blade.

"She's smarter than him, too," Kujo intuitively smirked, also pulling for her. "All she needs to do is find an opening."

Unwilling to let her set the pace, Nakuri targeted her shoulder next, this time using a stabbing motion as he thrust his katana forward. Thinking fast, Irelia dropped her shoulder first befroe allowing the rest of her body to follow, circling her leg just above the surface ground for a low kick in a display of her old fundamentals. The motion summoned a small cloud of dust while catching Nakuri's front leg, causing it to buckle and send him staggering forward. She allowed her blades to slice into his calf, prolonging his recovery enough for her to reposition as he regained his footing.

She then sent a series of projectiles towards him, forcing him to either evade or swat them away so he would be the one on the defensive. Small lacerations began to appear on his arms and legs slowing his movements further, but Nakuri would not go down so easily. Knowing he wouldn't be able to keep up with the increasing momentum of her attacks, Nakuri resorted to teleporting himself forward instead, his blade already in a position to strike at her torso when he appeared in front of her. The blink had been faster than Irelia had originally anticipated, but her reflexes had thankfully allowed her to bend from the waist in time to avoid it.

She reached her palms to the clay beneath her, transitioning into a backwards somersault while Nakuri had retracted his weapon. Her heel caught him square in the jaw as she sprung back onto her feet, impact left Nakuri reeling. His free hand immediately went to cup his jaw, and seeing the opening, Irelia immediately used her magic to stun him in place. A hail of projectiles rained down, piercing through his clothing to pin him onto the court. Nakuri was forced onto one knee, a scowl on his face as her remaining blades encircled his neck.

"It's my victory," Irelia told him with an exhausted breath. A small grin crossing her features as she called her weapons back to her, extending an arm to help him up. But Nakuri, ignored the gesture, swatting her hand away in an unsportsmanlike display before pushing off from the grown on his own. He seemed to mutter something inaudible to her before sulking off to the infirmary, pushing past the onlookers that had crowded around them.

"Not too bad," Kayn commented after they'd managed to reach her while Kujo proudly ruffled her hair. Her training had certainly come a long way if she were able to defeat Nakuri. Maybe he might even consider challenging her next time to experience her skill level himself.

"Thank you," she beamed appreciatively, and for some reason, the way she smiled made him feel a little warm. Which was strange, because it wasn't as if she'd changed or anything. He'd seen her similarly grin while covered in dirt and grime plenty of times before, but there was something about the way she looked now that had never been so...appealing.

Kayn's eyes narrowed as a sash was draped over her shoulders for modesty. Being drawn towards someone he'd known for so long wasn't all that strange, especially when she was, admittedly, attractive. If it were merely that type of a feeling, Kayn figured he could deal with it and not make a complete fool of himself.

...Or maybe it was the fact that the fit of her ninja-gi seemed tighter around her hips and chest, which would be a whole lot worse.

In an attempt to abandon the thought, Kayn squeezed discreetly past the others just as Irelia had chosen to glance back at him. Sauntering away in a manner not unlike Nakuri's, he hadn't expected her to suddenly materialize beside him.

"Shouldn't you take care of those?" he asked, eyes moving to the wounds she'd sustained in hopes of sending her away so he could deal with...whatever he was currently feeling  _on his own_.

"Nakuri probably wouldn't be very happy if I went to join him right now," Irelia pointed out, a fact he couldn't exactly disagree with. She frowned at the stream of blood continuing to trickle down her arm.

"Want to wrap them for me?" she asked with a teasing tilt of her head, unable to hide her laughter at the disgruntled face he gave her in response.

"Do it yourself," Kayn muttered irately, hoping he hadn't turned the exact same shade as the sunset while he trudged away. He heard another chuckle as Irelia caught up to him, her smile still in place as she walked alongside him back to the monastery.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays with this chapter, life keeps on happening and it's been harder for me to write lately. But hopefully the change of pace with Kayn's POV was depicted alright. I plan to pick up the pace with romantic development going forward, so I'm pretty excited for that :)


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